It’s OK to be GAY.

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

It’s OK to be GAY.

Seriously.

Say it to yourself, Lindsay: “It’s OK to be GAY!”

I mean, there are tons of celebrities who are gay. I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head right now, but I know they are out there. Wait a second…Angelina Jolie said she was gay once, so it must be ok. Then again, she also used to wear a vial of blood around her neck and got “Billy Bob” tattooed on her arm. Remember, Lindsay, these things are NOT OK.

But being GAY is OK! Repeat it to yourself.

Lindsay, take some advice – another thing that is NOT OK: Like Richard Chamberlain, DO NOT wait until you’re 107 to come out of the closet. Think of all the hot, gay action you would miss. Imagine if Evangeline Lilly announced that she wanted to make-out with you during an A-list party, but you were too embarrassed because you are, after all, “NOT GAY.” Fuck! If Evangeline Lilly wanted to make-out with me I would be gayer than Rosie O’Donnell trying to get laid on the set of The L Word.

On second thought, don’t get your hopes up. People as hot as Ms. Lilly are never gay. Unless you’re Portia de Rossi. Who is already engaged to the #1 Gay Person in The World, Ellen Degeneres. Which pretty much makes them the hottest lesbian couple since David and Victoria Beckham. And I am not just saying this so I that I get invited to the wedding.*

By the way, Lindsay, it’s OK to be GAY. But please pick yourself off the floor before you officially come out. You’re embarrassing us homos.

It’s OK to be GAY.

Go stick that in your Parent Trap.

Sincerely,
KBD

*E+P – The wedding invitation can be sent to karmabeatdown at hotmail dot com